Have you ever read a novel and wanted to change something that happened in one of the chapters, or the outcome of the story? If you answered yes to this question, then you are in luck! This is your chance to change something from your novel. Think back to what happened at the end of the story (or a specific section of your novel) and ask yourself these questions when rewriting it:
1.) What would you change about the story?
2.) Why would you change it?
3.) How will the change affect the story?
4.) Will it change the plot of the story drastically?
5.) What questions do you have after changing what happened?
I would change the ending when bruno and Shmuel are taken away when they went on the march and never came back . I would change it to "Jacob and Shmuel walk back to the fence and as Jacob is changing back into his clothes which are now soaking wet and covered in mud, Shmuel rolls under the fence and starts walking to the house as Jacob is running to catch up with him, shumel starts running faster and runs into the house. As Jacob enters the house and sputters "No he`s my friend without thinking as he sees father hitting Shmuel. His father says "okay" and says he`s free we will keep him at home in Berlin." This will just change the ending so he does not die and will not change the plot drastically. After changing it I am wondering why the author made him die? or if it is a true story?
ReplyDeleteYou should add what the chapter(s) is. You had said Jacob many times.. I think you may have confused the characters with Jacob's Rescue. Great detail in what you would change the paragraph into but i think you should make the last part when he is talking to his father, more detailed because the story and plot changes to fast for people to understand what s going on.
DeleteGreat job overall! :D
I would change the ending when bruno and Shmuel are taken away when they went on the march and never came back . I would change it to "Bruno and Shmuel walk back to the fence and as Bruno is changing back into his clothes which are now soaking wet and covered in mud, Shmuel rolls under the fence and starts walking to the house as Bruno is running to catch up with him, shumel starts running faster and runs into the house. As Bruno enters the house and sputters "No he`s my friend without thinking as he sees father hitting Shmuel. His father says "okay" and then says "he`s free now so we will keep him at home in Berlin." This will just change the ending so he does not die and will not change the plot drastically. After changing it, I am wondering why the author made him die? or if it is a true story?
DeleteI would have changed 15, because Bruno had offered 3 slices of cold stuffed chicken but Shmuel did not want it because he thought that Lieutenant Kotler would come any second. After a long time of begging Bruno had finally convinced Shmuel to it them, so he quickly gulped them down in about 20 seconds. Lieutenant Kotler had came and had known that Shmuel had been eating and he said that Bruno had offered them and they were friends. When Lieutenant Kotler had asked Bruno if he had ever seen him before and if he had given him food, he had lied and said, "I...he was here when I came in", because Bruno was terrified. Lieutenant Kotler had told Shmuel that when he was done polishing all the glasses he was going to take him and tell him what happens to boys who steal. The next day, Shmuel had looked hurt/beaten with bruising because of the lie Bruno had told. I would change it because Shmuel was really his friend, he wouldn't have lied and made Shmuel suffer. I would change it this part into Bruno actually telling the truth. I do think it would have changed the plot of the novel drastically because he would have had an even closer friendship with Bruno. I would ask, would Shmuel had more trust for Bruno and actually taken up those offers of getting under the fence and into Bruno's side?
ReplyDeleteThis the Part of the novel I would change. :)
Could someone give me feedback please! :D
Deleteyou should have said i would change ch.15 not just 15 but great job
DeleteI would change the part were the kids get gassed. I would change that part because its really sad and I don’t like sad stories. It would change it because then the kids would be alot happier then being in the concentration camp. I think it would change the plot of the story because it wouldn’t be called "The Boy in The PJS". After reading this story I am wondering why the Arthur made them get gassed? My other question is Why doesn’t Bruno didn’t know what his dad did for a living?
ReplyDeleteThis is my idea of what i would change of the story.
If i were the author I would change that instead of saying Bruno went to the march Bruno and Shmuel are taken away to a house or a storage. And they were never seen again I would put it like this "Bruno and Shmuel had no choice but to do the march with everyone and there were to many people at the gate so he couldn't run though the gate and run straight home but next thing they new was that they were in a very secure house with only one room but the next day when they were aloud to get out of the house Bruno ran back to the gate put on his clothes and ran back to the house and just in time to because they were just about to leave to the house in Berlin. But the question I would have would be wouldn't they know that he was gone or did they just think he was i his room
ReplyDelete@ winnie the poo
DeleteAwesome job winnie! Remember, capitalize the letter I. However, I really liked you're new paragraph. But some minor spelling mistakes, it's not new, it's knew. Also, it's not aloud, it's allowed.
In the book " The Boy in the Striped Pajamas " I would change the part where Bruno was keeping the secret of having Shumel as a friend. I would change it because if he told Gretel, his mom and his dad, then maybe they will see that the people of the Jewish religion are nice! And they may find Shumel's family as a result! It would change many parts of the book though! The two boys wouldn't be gassed, Lieutenant Kotler may say sorry to Shumel, Pavel can go into retirement or continue his actual work as a doctor, maybe even Shumel family gets to live with Bruno's family. And the friends and family of Bruno and Shumel wouldn't sad that they passed away. A question I have is, what will Bruno's family do now that he passed away? Since his mom was already mad at his dad, will she divorce since he mad them move there?
ReplyDeleteCan someone please reply to me?
DeletePut a comma after the quotation marks. At the second sentence, (beginning), you should change it to, "The reason I would change this is because, etc.". On the fourth sentence you should take out "though". On the fifth sentence, you should add an "s", for Shmuel's family. The sixth sentence has some grammar errors. You have a few spelling mistakes near the ending. Great job overall!
DeleteCOULD YOU PLEASE REPLY TO MY POST TOO? THANKS! :D (I have no feedback yet).
The part of the book The Boy In The Striped pagamas that iam going to finish off in my way is right when he moves to his new house and so on. It all started when Bruno and his fmaily moved to a new house even with their grandparents and their new house was so quiet you couldent even hear a pin drop wich made them feel like they never felt before in a bad way also they felt like they were being watched. But anyways every one unpacked there stuff and Bruno hated the house because he missed his friends and so he whent down stairs stomping hardly and furiously down the stairs and he complained and yelled on top of his lungs I HATE THIS HOUSE I WANT TO GO BACK TO ARE OLD HOUSE PLEASE! And his parents response was are you kidding me we just got hear not in a million years were moving back. So he was so angry and mad he ran out the door with no responce and he ran far away until he bumped in to a dirty bob wired fence where he met this young boy on the otherside of the fence and than Bruno asked him some queshitons like why are you on that side of the fence? and his response was because Iam jew and so than they asked eachothers name and Bruno said my name is Bruno and than the young boy on the otherside of the fence said my name is Shumual. However, Bruno asks Shumual to come on the otherside where Bruno is and where its safer and there so Shumual climbs over the bob wire fence and than Bruno brings Shumual home and than Shumual meets Bruno's family and Bruno's father gives Shumual a weird nasty look and than Bruno asks his father why are you giving that look to my new best friend and than Bruno asks his dad again can you please tell me you job please because I want to tell my new best friend and than Bruno's dad tells Bruno and Shumual and his dad says Iam one of the Nazi's and I kill jews and I killed you grandmother... SO READ THE NEXT BOOK IF YOU WANT TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.
ReplyDelete(REVISED)
ReplyDeleteI would have changed chapter 15, because Bruno had offered 3 slices of cold stuffed chicken but Shmuel did not want it because he thought that Lieutenant Kotler would come any second. After a long time of begging Bruno had finally convinced Shmuel to it them, so he quickly gulped them down in about 20 seconds. Lieutenant Kotler had came and had known that Shmuel had been eating and he said that Bruno had offered them and they were friends. When Lieutenant Kotler had asked Bruno if he had ever seen him before and if he had given him food, he had lied and said, "I...he was here when I came in", because Bruno was terrified. Lieutenant Kotler had told Shmuel that when he was done polishing all the glasses he was going to take him and tell him what happens to boys who steal. The next day, Shmuel had looked hurt/beaten with bruising because of the lie Bruno had told. I would change it because Shmuel was really his friend, he wouldn't have lied and made Shmuel suffer. I would change it this part into Bruno actually telling the truth. I do think it would have changed the plot of the novel drastically because he would have had an even closer friendship with Bruno. I would ask, would Shmuel had more trust for Bruno and actually taken up those offers of getting under the fence and into Bruno's side?
This the Part of the novel I would change. :)
(REVISED)
ReplyDeleteIn the book " The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, " I would change the part where Bruno was keeping the secret of having Shumel as a friend. The reason I would change this because if he told Gretel, his mom and his dad, then maybe they will see that the people of the Jewish religion are nice! And they may find Shumel's family as a result! It would change many parts of the book! The two boys wouldn't be gassed, Lieutenant Kotler may say sorry to Shumel, Pavel can go into retirement or continue his actual work as a doctor, maybe even Shumel family gets to live with Bruno's family. And the friends and family of Bruno and Shumel wouldn't sad that they passed away. A question I have is, what will Bruno's family do now that he passed away? Since his mom was already mad at his dad, will she divorce since he mad them move there?
A part in the story that I would change would be when Bruno fell of the tire swing and Pavel came and then helped him and fixed his wound. I would make it so only Bruno's sister was there I think she would not know what to do. I would change this because then I think it would make the story more interesting. I think it will change the relationship between Bruno and his sister a lot. The story will be changed drastically.
ReplyDelete